Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
