I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
