the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize