my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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