have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
