i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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