We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
