i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize