home. puking in laundry basket.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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