Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
