those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
