why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
No...this little piggys going to the bar
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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