I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
