so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
