My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
