it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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