Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
