never play flip cup with pint glasses
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
