Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actions speak louder than pants.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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