in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
