Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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