she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Randomize
