I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
