I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
