Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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