I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
