This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
