Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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