He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize