Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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