i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
