I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
