So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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