I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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