You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
