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mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
