girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
