Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
