Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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