you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
