At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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