You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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