so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
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the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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