I am in a vortex of obligation.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
