i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
