Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
