It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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