false alarm. still invincible.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
