this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
