no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Randomize
