he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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