it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize