on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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