Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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