The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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