when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
