Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
They took my balls.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize
