Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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