She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Randomize
