so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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