The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
