the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
